This is to Sarah, Paula, Gemma and Jan…….
I realise a lot of stuff is going on right now. Moving home is never easy. Moving between countries imposes extra things that need to be worked through and that HAVE to happen to a certain timeline for this to happen smoothly (if at all). Two of those important points are coming up. We need to get all the stuff that’s going to be moved catalogued before it gets packed up, and we need to be in a position that it can be packed up by the middle of next week. This date was set a while back and was done this way so the stuff arrives at the house in the US a week after we do. We chose to do it that way as we didn’t want the extra hassle of dealing with the arrival of the stuff in the first week are there (as we’ll all be recovering form the journey and also finding our feet in the new place), but we also didn’t want to be waiting too long before it arrives.
Now I know there’s more I could have done to have help prepare for this time when I was last back in the UK, however keep in mind that that was 4 months before when the packing exercise was to happen and as such there was a limit to what we could have done at that stage. I was only there for the week, and it would be the last time I would be in the UK before we move, so I also wanted to be able to spend some quality time with Jan, and it was a shame I couldn’t do so with the rest of you, but we were stuck with the timings of various things (the skiing trip for example).
Things have been very stressful for Mum recently. There have been issues at work with people going seriously sick, she’s had loads of stuff coming up with rainbows/guides and youthgroup. She’s had all the preparation for the move to contend with (and the closer we’ve got, the more stuff has come up that we find we have to deal with), and she’s been struggling to stand still – let alone move forward with this stuff. As such, she’s been working late into the night to get things done. I know you all have been to a greater or lesser extent been doing some stuff to help, but I ask you all now to have a long hard think and see if there’s more you feel you could do to help in this critical phase.
There’s a week left before the house gets packed, and it’s unfair on Mum to expect her to do everything herself. Everyone should be doing what they can to help now – even Gemma. If I were there I’d be at the stage of working through the night to help out, but I’m stuck nearly 6000 miles away. I’ll have my own challenges in July as I move into the house in Pleasanton and get the stuff in that we need before you lot come over, and look to deal with the fact that some of the stuff we need won’t be with us for at least a week.
If you can all pull together over the next week, and especially if you can do so without having to be asked/chased/threatened (ask what you can be doing to help), things will get better once this hard deadline passes. I know the timing sucks, especially from Sarah’s perspective, but if we can all do what needs to be done as a team (here where I work we have a theme of ‘One Team’ – we should apply that here also), we’ll come out the other end in a much better position than we will be if Mum has to do all the stuff in the UK on her own.
So, I ask that everyone thinks about what needs to be done and does what they can to make it happen, and while I know it’s going to impact some stuff you might want to do, it’s a short term necessity that will be achieved a lot easier if everyone pulls together.
I apologise for not doing more when I was in the UK in February – I know that has also put more on you ‘guys’ than you would otherwise have to deal with. Unfortunately, as much as I feel bad about that now, there’s little I can do to overcome that. I’ll have my own stuff to deal with soon enough that you can’t help me with, so if you can do what you can to help Mum, that would be greatly appreciated by me (and also by Mum).
Specifically to Sarah, I know this has had an impact on your birthday, and for that I am truly sorry, but I ask that you look at the wider picture here, and realise that if you can be understanding and accommodating here, we’ll do what we can to make things up to you. If however you go all negative and confrontational and don’t help out in this time of need, I’ll be much less understanding. Sorry to have to give that sort of message, but there’s a lot at stake here, and it needs everyone to do what they can to help.
Love you all, missing you all, and looking forward very much to the end of July. There is light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s not so close yet that we can afford to slow down/rely solely on others to get there.